Is 'Auto-Seeker' a Foul? Artificial Intelligence and the Future of Quidditch Stir Controversy

By Eloise Mintumble, Quidditch Correspondent

The hallowed pitches of professional Quidditch are abuzz, not with the roar of broomsticks, but with hushed whispers of… artificial intelligence? Yes, dear readers, it seems the Ministry of Magic’s Department of Magical Games and Sports is grappling with a conundrum that would make even Hermione Granger sweat: the ‘Auto-Seeker’ initiative.

Conceived by a consortium led by Madam Elfrida Clagg, famed inventor (and rumoured admirer of Gilderoy Lockhart’s earlier, less successful charms), the Auto-Seeker purports to use advanced rune-based algorithms to predict the Golden Snitch’s trajectory with unparalleled accuracy. Imagine, no more nail-biting chases! No more questionable refereeing decisions! (I’m looking at you, Madam Hooch.)

But before you cheer, consider this: several prominent figures are raising serious ethical concerns. Oliver Wood, former Gryffindor Keeper and current Puddlemere United reserve, voiced his skepticism, albeit between mouthfuls of treacle tart. “Where’s the sport if a machine’s doing the Seeker’s job? What’s next, self-fluffing broomsticks? We’ll be playing Bladderdash before you know it!”

Rita Skeeter, never one to miss a juicy scoop (or a well-placed exaggeration), has hinted at a ‘rogue AI’ scenario, whispering of Auto-Seekers that could ’learn’ to favour specific teams, or, Merlin forbid, even start catching players. The Ministry has vehemently denied these claims, issuing a statement reassuring the public that the Auto-Seeker is ‘under strict magical control’ and ‘incapable of independent thought’. Right. Because that always works out well, doesn’t it?

Beyond the ethical quandaries lies the more practical problem: cost. Early projections suggest each Auto-Seeker unit (a complex array of runes, enchanted sensors, and a surprisingly adorable miniature owl perched atop) would cost more than a brand-new Firebolt. Several smaller league teams are already complaining that this will further widen the gap between the haves and have-nots of Quidditch.

And then there’s the issue of jobs. What becomes of the Seekers? Will they be relegated to cheering from the stands, forced to find less exciting (and less financially rewarding) careers? One former Seeker, who wished to remain anonymous (but whose house crest suspiciously resembled a badger), lamented, “I spent years perfecting my Wronski Feint! Is that all for naught now? Should I have gone into Gringotts instead?”

The Ministry promises thorough testing and public consultation before any Auto-Seeker units are deployed. But one thing is clear: the future of Quidditch, and perhaps even the nature of sport itself, is hanging in the balance. Stay tuned to the Daily Prophet for updates as this fascinating (and potentially disastrous) story unfolds.